Untangling the Threads: Who Do You Become When You Release Expectations?

There is a moment, quiet, almost imperceptible, when you realise that the weight you’ve been carrying isn’t actually yours. It took me years to understand this. Years of striving, pleasing, pushing, trying to live up to standards that felt both invisible and impossible.

And when I finally paused long enough to listen, I felt something shift.

A softening.

A loosening.

A breath I hadn’t realised I was holding.

This is the moment when untangling begins.

Where Do Expectations Come From?

Expectations rarely start with us. They’re inherited, absorbed, collected over time:

• A family belief about what “success” should look like

• A cultural script about how we should behave

• A teacher’s voice from childhood

• A younger version of ourselves who once needed perfection to feel safe

• A workplace that rewards burnout as devotion

  
  

These threads wrap around us slowly, gently, until one day we can no longer remember where we end and the expectations begin.

But what we forget is that untangling isn’t rebellion. It’s remembering who you are without the noise.

How the Body Holds Expectation

As a Yoga teacher, I see it every day.

Expectation tightens the jaw. It curls the shoulders inwards. It accelerates the breath. It knots itself into the stomach. It whispers “not enough” into our nervous system.

And yet, the body also knows how to soften.

How to return.

How to recognise truth.

If you place a hand on your heart or your belly right now, you can probably feel it: a kind of inner knowing, a whisper of clarity beneath the pressure.

This is where the real untangling begins.

A Gentle Practice to Begin Unravelling

Take a slow, steady breath. Feel your ribs expand. Exhale softly.

Now ask yourself:

“Who am I trying to please?”

“Who would I be if I stopped?”

Let whatever rises be enough.

No forcing.

No judgement.

Just noticing.

This is your truth speaking clearly, quietly, under all the layers.

Releasing One Thread at a Time

You don’t need to cut all expectations at once. You don’t need to transform overnight.

Imagine a single thread you’re ready to loosen. Just one.

Maybe it’s the expectation to be productive every day.

Maybe it’s the expectation to be everything to everyone.

Maybe it’s the expectation to move through life without rest.

Whichever thread it is, breathe into it.

Let it soften.

Let it loosen.

Let it fall away naturally, without force.

A Closing Breath

Place a hand on your heart. Feel your breath move beneath your palm.

And whisper softly:

“I choose authenticity over expectation”

May the relief be immediate.

May the clarity stay with you.

May the unravelled threads make space for who you are becoming.